In my very first blog post, at the launch of our new website, and only one month before "AWE" doors open, I would like to share a brief history of how I came to this place and just a bit of my journey. Throughout my life ballet, movement, health, and wellness have been my pursuits and enormous influences. I have been incredibly blessed by opportunities, mentors, excellent training, and family/friend support. The obstacle that developed, though, from a young age, was a very high bar of perfection set for myself. As any "perfectionist" will tell you, this paves the way for a tough road of self-examination, critique, fear of failing, shame, and a division or protective shell, where one can safely hide away the unseen: mind, emotion, and beliefs. This lifestyle of attempting to hide my imperfect self, while being a slave to an ideal of perfection and the expectations of those around me, was far from an enjoyable life!
The change and healing from the effects of the "double life" began twenty years ago, very slowly and gradually like the gentle unwinding of a ball of yarn. It started as a small voice inside of me that spoke of my value and belonging and worth, regardless of any achievement or failure. This deep work continues today to teach me of my identity, belonging, and unity with all of God's creation. The reshaping of my beliefs has allowed me a newfound freedom of living "whole". In other words, remaining a slave to perfection and performance are no longer a requirement for me. I can engage the practices of movement, self-care, and exercise from a place of peace, enjoying them as an expression of self-acceptance, nurture, and creative expression.
Do I live this out perfectly? No, but I no longer have to sit in the judge's seat, examining how well I am doing throughout life. And, the more I simply enjoy each moment of living, the sweeter the taste of freedom becomes. I hope that "AWE" will be a place that encourages just this: realizing your value, acceptance, beauty and creativity; a safe place to lay down fears, anxiety and cares, and to rest in freedom.
See you in the studio,